Summer seems to finally have come to Calgary, along with some chilly, rainy days of course. Remember to keep both the sunscreen and the rain boots handy. Toddlers will love splashing in the puddles.
Thinking about a new dad and how his relationship with his partner changes once a new baby arrives. At first their joint attention and adoration is focused on that baby. In time, however, the mother often becomes the one who “knows” what the baby wants and how to calm the crying, etc. (Breast feeding increases this exclusivity). So when the baby begins to cry - dad may hand her to mom. This article from Science Daily tells us that researchers found that a new father tends to feel closer to the mother both as a co-parent and as a romantic partner when he believes he has her confidence when he is involved in child care and calming. Do you find this surprising? I’m reminded of times our baby was crying and I noticed that my husband wasn’t doing what I would do. I made myself wait it out. He tried a few things and usually something would finally work! “Good for you. How did you think to do that?” I said.
This article talks about experience of motherhood and how the care for the mother shifts after giving birth. I especially like the line "Instead of focusing on the woman’s identity transition, more research is focused on how the baby turns out." It's true. Suddenly the focus and attention shifts away from the mother and on to how the baby is doing. I wonder how this feels for mothers.
As you begin to plant your summer garden, you may be looking for ways to include your child(ren). I suggest you buy a packet of carrot seeds and small compostable pots in which to plant the seeds. Then you'll need to get your hands the The Carrot Seed book by Ruth Krauss. It's a classic! The book will be seventy five years old this year. You'll have time to read it to your preschooler over and over again while you wait and watch for your carrot to come up!
As I’ve mentioned this week, it is safe to give your child a small, square “lovie” right from the start. Something like this toy is great as your baby can suck on the corners. If you are handy or know someone who is, you can even make one with this pattern here.
An easy alternative is to get a soft, cloth handkerchief and tie a knot in the middle. This way the two ends fan out a bit and make it easy for a baby to grasp and bring to his mouth.
As always, feel free to take advantage of Kitty’s parenting expertise by booking your first conversation today and taking your first step to peaceful parenting and quieter nights.